You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize