yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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