so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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