Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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