I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
