So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
