It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize