i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
