just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize