Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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