somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
