i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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