She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
3 2 1 whiskey
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
