? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
