How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think a kid would responsible me up
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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