at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize