It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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