Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
