Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
