just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
