I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
