I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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