I smell stomach acid.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize