it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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