this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
