i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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