Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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