how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
