It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize