is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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