8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
