I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
