i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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