I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Terrible idea I love it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
