She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
