You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
