oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
