Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
