textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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