just tell him i said nine months
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
