lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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