What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
