spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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