I think im going to throw up on grandma
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
