my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
