Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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