doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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