i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
