We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Let the clothes fall where they may.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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