I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
