i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
