If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize