he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
