At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
