i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
