My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
