I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
